I always do that. I always get my hopes up. I jinx myself and then am always disappointed in the end. I've tried the mindset my ex-husband told me...keep your expectations low...then if it doesn't work out, you aren't disappointed. And if it does work out...you are pleasantly surprised. But I just can't fucking help myself. I try to be a cynic (sp?) but I just can't. I get so excited at the prospect of any little thing. A few things lately, for example:
1. Extensions: Just clip them in and Waa Laa! Insta-rock-star. Yeaaahhhh....I spent the whole night fixing the damn things, having Tammi hook them back on my damn head (at the table, not in the bathroom) and making sure no one could see the clips or that one strand wasn't hanging down to my damn booty just randomly. I'm too high-strung to wear extensions. That brings me to having sex with said extensions....yeah. I got porn star hair and it was all over the place by the time I was done. I mean like all over the floor and everything. Only a couple of random long strands still attached to my damn head!
2. Work: Oh yay! I get to create from the ground up a women's magazine! I'm THE creative director! I hire photographers and direct photo shoots. Hell yeah! Hell no. I get in trouble for "taking control" of the magazine (mind you, the editor quit in the middle of this).
So I took it upon myself, just like my boss always tells everyone to, to make this magazine happen to the best of my ability. Then it stops being fun and starts being WORK. Long hours and gossip and everyone (the "publisher") hates me. I don't get it. I wait for them to tell me what to do and I'm “lazy” and they get mad. I take control and do what needs to be done and I'm a bitch.
Let me tell you one thing. The bitch "publisher" thought I was the cat's meow until they hired the French Photographer. My meeting with Frenchie went great. The old guy even hit on me and supposedly loved my idea more than his (which was very good, thank God, because his idea sucked balls). Then the day of the shoot the "bitch pub" shows up and they start treating me like I’m invisible. So I don't know if she's sleeping with the French guy or what, all I know is now we have an fucking COWGIRL on the cover of our first magazine!! With rhinestones and everything!
Yeahhhhh....work sucks.
So I took it upon myself, just like my boss always tells everyone to, to make this magazine happen to the best of my ability. Then it stops being fun and starts being WORK. Long hours and gossip and everyone (the "publisher") hates me. I don't get it. I wait for them to tell me what to do and I'm “lazy” and they get mad. I take control and do what needs to be done and I'm a bitch.
Let me tell you one thing. The bitch "publisher" thought I was the cat's meow until they hired the French Photographer. My meeting with Frenchie went great. The old guy even hit on me and supposedly loved my idea more than his (which was very good, thank God, because his idea sucked balls). Then the day of the shoot the "bitch pub" shows up and they start treating me like I’m invisible. So I don't know if she's sleeping with the French guy or what, all I know is now we have an fucking COWGIRL on the cover of our first magazine!! With rhinestones and everything!
Yeahhhhh....work sucks.
