Holy balls it's K-FAT!!

How in the HELL did this happen??? And hello–HILARIOUS!



It totally looks like they Photoshopped his face onto some fat dude's body! Look how little his head is!

I'm not as current on my celebrity gossip as I would like to be and I'm afraid I have no idea what is going on in Britney and K-Fed's lives right now. I'm assuming there is no train wrecks going on with that situation because nothing about it has shown up on perezhilton.com or any of my other "guilty pleasure" websites. (Or my "deepest shame" websites... you decide.) But how the hell did K-Fed get so humongously FAT??

I never understood how really fat people get really fat. (The ones that aren't born that way or have a thyroid problem.) Take Kevin Federline, for example. He was once a thin, fit, dancing mooch of a man. And, like, once he gained, say, 20 lbs of fat wouldn't you think he'd start to get worried? How about the next 50lbs? When do you get to that point where you say to yourself, "Um, dude, I'm getting a little chunky... maybe I should lay off the pork rinds..." Just sayin'.

Further evidence that WF is run by the Devil...

current mood: beyond words
I know it's my own fault... I was the retard that opened a checking account. That was my first mistake. The second was trying to apply logic to the situation. I don't think Satan, the president of Wells Fargo, really digs logic.

I never received any checks for my checking account so I call "Wells Fargo Customer Service" (I put it in quotes because its fictional) and they apologize and get my info and say they will have them sent to me as soon as possible. A week later I get a box of checks in the mail.

A few more days go by and I need to cash a check so I mosey on down to the bank where the evil fiend posing as a teller ruins everything by telling me that he can't cash the check because of the 'status' of my account. I was concerned by this because even though I don't have much in the account ($5), there was still money in there. So I calmly (who am I kidding... 'maniacally' would better describe my tone) asked the demon what exactly the Prince of Darkness requires as a minimum balance these days. There is none. It just can't be insufficient. My account has now magically been overdrawn. Obviously Satan has taken it upon himself to personally fuck with my bank account. It's like at the top of his Super Evil Things To Do list.

I go home all pissy and do a little online banking and see a charge that posted today for $19.95. I look up the company name and it's the company that the bank ordered my checks from. Are you kidding me? The devil charged me for the checks. Not only that, he waited to charge me almost 2 full weeks after the fact when I only had $5 in the account because it's way more entertaining that way.

So the demon teller wouldn't cash my check because the bank charged my account for something they provided me. Maybe there's something I'm missing here. When I asked "customer service" to send me the checks (only one box, by the way... $19.95??) they never once mentioned that I would be charged twenty bucks. They never said I would be charged anything. I assumed that the checks from the bank were free. I was wrong.

I begrudgingly called "customer service" to complain and they told me was to take the checks into the branch and my account would be credited. So tomorrow I have another fun-filled and exciting trip to Hell–I mean the bank–in store for me. I can't hardly wait.

Those sinister bastards better not charge me a $35 overdraft fee... they probably will. I will have to call "customer service" again and try to get them to remove the fee. Then I will get to go into the branch and inform them of the changes because it would be absurd for me to assume my account was updated in their own system and Satan will deactivate my card and report me to collections...

Damn the devil and his evil banking minions.