Calling in "Zit"

I have an entity growing on my chin and I think a foreign creature may inhabit it. And by foreign, I don't mean some French guy or something. I mean something alien. I’m talking straight up E.T. is residing in my blooming chin pustule. I'm waiting for it to 'hatch' and crack my head open. Or maybe it will take over my body and I'll be a walking pod person. Or, even worse, that it will start to grow hair and teeth and shit like a tumor.

So come Monday morning, the eruption is all scabby and red and I have no idea whatsoever how to hide the puss pocket. I try cover up. I try lots of cover up. I don't know how to cover a second head! They don't have a manual for something like that, do they? I want to call in sick to work. Can you call in because you have an alien growing underneath your chin skin? That may sound better than calling in zit.

This better just be stress acne because if I went through life feeling all lucky because at least I have decent zit-free skin only to be cursed at the age of almost 30 with Adult Acne I'm-a gonna be pissed.

Well I'm going to go put some Proactive on this alien receptacle and hope it hatches by morning. Or maybe the solicyc acid will make it shrivel up DIE DIE DIE! Think I could get it out with one of those Biore pore strips? Do they have an alien removal method?

Damn.

Bottom Floor Living...

I wanted to live on the bottom floor because I’m lazy I just don't like stairs. And I have a lot of heavy furniture that keeps getting scratched. And I have really high ceilings in my new place so I thought a repeat of fat-Britney-look-alike clog dancing upstairs and vacuuming at 2am would never happen. The couple that lives above me is pretty quiet and everything is great.

Until now. There are kids up there. And now it's all stomping and yelling and falling and running...ugh. I hope and pray that this is just a little visit or something. Kids should not be allowed to live on the top floor of an apartment building. Or tweekers for that matter since they want to vacuum at 2am. Sounds like they are doing construction up there right now! WTF. I'll just resume watching One Tree Hill very loudly and try to drown out the commotion of little half people tearing down the walls up there...