It's been one of those days. The ones where all you can say is ..@$&^õ. Dammit. I woke up late and had to take a "hooker's bath" because I went tanning last night and the burnt skin smell from hundreds of other asses was stuck on mine. Then it rained on the way to work. Normally that wouldn't be any unusual problem, but alas, my windshield wipers are hanging on by a thread, and I mean that literally. The stupid little blade thingies flap around like wet noodles while the metal scrapes dirty little streaks across my field of vision.
Then the fucking guy in the fucking Mercedes decides he doesn't need to wait for his green light to enter the freeway from the on-ramp like the rest of the little people and has to go the same time I do. Bastard.
The highlight of my morning was the fact that Tracy on "War of the Roses" didn't cut in on the phone call too early and we got to catch her boyfriend Jackson cheating on her and sending those flowers to a girl she didn't even know about! Bastard. He actually said that he loved her so much it scared him and he was confused and needed to get the cheating out of his system. Seriously. What an ass.
Then the fucking guy in the fucking Mercedes decides he doesn't need to wait for his green light to enter the freeway from the on-ramp like the rest of the little people and has to go the same time I do. Bastard.
The highlight of my morning was the fact that Tracy on "War of the Roses" didn't cut in on the phone call too early and we got to catch her boyfriend Jackson cheating on her and sending those flowers to a girl she didn't even know about! Bastard. He actually said that he loved her so much it scared him and he was confused and needed to get the cheating out of his system. Seriously. What an ass.
“War of the Roses” is one of my guilty pleasures. They devised it up on one of these local morning radio shows where they do more talking than playing music. (Since Howard Stern had switched to satellite radio so long ago, that guilty pleasure was out of the question and I needed something to amuse me on my way to work.) So a girl calls them up if she thinks her boyfriend/husband or whoever is cheating on her. She gives the details, if she has any, about the person or persons she thinks he is cheating with.
Then the girl DJ calls the dude up and says she’s from some new Phoenix flower shop and as a promotion they are offering to give him a free dozen roses, send it to anyone he wants, with no strings attached. The girl DJ (I will say her name is Katy) is a very good salesperson. Not one person has hung up not wanting the roses. The whole time the girlfriend/wife is listening on the other line and supposed to be quiet. Then it comes time for the guy to say who he wants the flowers sent to, and most of the time after he says the name of some other girl, the one that’s supposed to be quiet on the other line always butts in and freaks out before Katy can get any real information out of him, which completely ruins “War of the Roses” for me until next week. I don’t know why they don’t just put the girlfriend on Mute.
Katy is amazingly good at getting information about the other girls and how long he’s been seeing her and whatnot. Even if he sends the flowers to his girlfriend/wife or his mom or sister, Katy will offer him another free dozen, just to totally entrap him. And 9 out 10 times they are cheating. It’s so great when the girl is quiet and the dude digs himself a hole so deep he can’t really think of anything to say so he hangs up. Then the DJ’s call him back and try to get some answers out of him. The guys threaten lawsuits and all that stuff but no one ever says any last names.
It’s deliciously evil. I love it.
Then the girl DJ calls the dude up and says she’s from some new Phoenix flower shop and as a promotion they are offering to give him a free dozen roses, send it to anyone he wants, with no strings attached. The girl DJ (I will say her name is Katy) is a very good salesperson. Not one person has hung up not wanting the roses. The whole time the girlfriend/wife is listening on the other line and supposed to be quiet. Then it comes time for the guy to say who he wants the flowers sent to, and most of the time after he says the name of some other girl, the one that’s supposed to be quiet on the other line always butts in and freaks out before Katy can get any real information out of him, which completely ruins “War of the Roses” for me until next week. I don’t know why they don’t just put the girlfriend on Mute.
Katy is amazingly good at getting information about the other girls and how long he’s been seeing her and whatnot. Even if he sends the flowers to his girlfriend/wife or his mom or sister, Katy will offer him another free dozen, just to totally entrap him. And 9 out 10 times they are cheating. It’s so great when the girl is quiet and the dude digs himself a hole so deep he can’t really think of anything to say so he hangs up. Then the DJ’s call him back and try to get some answers out of him. The guys threaten lawsuits and all that stuff but no one ever says any last names.
It’s deliciously evil. I love it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment