I'm the .1 percent...

I go and get my wrist tattoos that I've been wanting forever. Roses and banners, one says truth one says love. So I sit through 5 hours of needle and ink torture and survive, don't even get the least bit faint. I get home, remove the bandages and they are a bit red, nothing to worry about. The next day they are more red and now swollen. Hmmm, not looking too good. My other tattoo didn't hurt this bad. I know the wrists are a lot more sensitive, but shit! These look gross!! Then the ever-scary red line begins to travel up the "love" arm. NOT GOOD.

I have E-rock drive my ass back to the tattoo shop and as the worse possible advertising ever, I show my red swollen infected arms to the owner and they tell me if it travels any higher to get my ass to the hospital ASAP. Everybody has gathered around me and my "nice tattoos though" arms and are freaked out by this red line that has traveled up past my elbow in a matter of 6 hours.

At this moment I decide I can't handle it anymore and I almost pass out in the freakin' shop. 2 days AFTER the tattoo. I have to go lie down and eat candy, drink water...they were taking pictures of my arms because "in 19 years of tattooing I've NEVER seen this happen before" ...yeah right.

I get home and wash them again and mark on my arm where the red line is and begrudgingly call my mother. My dad is yelling in the background "Don't be stupid! Take your ass to the hospital!" So I call this health line and she says to get my ass to the hospital too. Now I'm just feeling so stupid. I did this to myself. I wanted these stupid tattoos so bad.

I go to the emergency room with my wrists covered with a jacket like a convict being led through the airport. I got in pretty quickly. Scottsdale Healthcare is soooooo much better than Paradise Valley Hospital. If you ever get sick, NEVER go to Paradise Valley. I think they tried to kill me on more than one occasion...

I get an IV… of course. More needles. Was in and out in a couple of hours. Got an antibiotic and when I woke up this morning the red line was gone!! Yay. So, was it worth it? The tattoos? I don't know. I really wanted them, but maybe my body is telling me, "enough, dumbass, enough". Boobs, tattoos, meningitis and chronic migraines. I’m a mess. What else can I do to myself??

So, I've figured out over time that whenever it says 99.9 percent effective...I'm always that .1 percent that everything bad happens to. I'll post some pics of my tats once they look better. I got lots of compliments in the hospital...