Or so I've been told. By my doctor (or rather, a muscle therapist for my TMJ). Not the best news to hear as he's digging his boney thumb into the side of my face as hard as he possibly can. The bastard was trying his hardest to make me cry, I know he was. Though I didn't cry, I did flip him off and give him a solid beat down in my mind.
Once the torture session was over, the hippie that is his assistant felt the need to "test" me on my jaw exercises. I'd just gotten done with a traumatic experience, so I was a little more than unpleasant. I remember him standing there opening and closing his mouth in various ways and all I can think about is how much he looks like an elf from Lord of the Rings (but not nearly as hot) with his long blond hair.
Then he mentioned that I don't talk much. Well, it is a bit hard to talk when there is a man-thumb with the all the strength of the Hulk pushing your jaw towards the other side of the room. Now that I think about it, he may not be a hippie so much as a D and D player. He grows his hair out to fit in with the sorcerer costume he wears on the weekends.
Once the torture session was over, the hippie that is his assistant felt the need to "test" me on my jaw exercises. I'd just gotten done with a traumatic experience, so I was a little more than unpleasant. I remember him standing there opening and closing his mouth in various ways and all I can think about is how much he looks like an elf from Lord of the Rings (but not nearly as hot) with his long blond hair.
Then he mentioned that I don't talk much. Well, it is a bit hard to talk when there is a man-thumb with the all the strength of the Hulk pushing your jaw towards the other side of the room. Now that I think about it, he may not be a hippie so much as a D and D player. He grows his hair out to fit in with the sorcerer costume he wears on the weekends.
Speaking of Dungeons and Dragons, what would that say about me if I thought that may sound like a fun game to play, like, once in my life? But do I have to dress up like the characters? That could be fun too, I guess. But then I'm crossing way over into Dorkdom and I'm dorky enough as it is. It would be funny though if this guy dresses like a wizard on the weekend and come Monday he throws his elven locks into a ponytail and dons the mint green life force-sucking scrubs and acts like a semi-normal human being. But I can see through his façade as he stands there laughing diabolically in the corner as his boss is torturing me and telling me I have bad luck. Evil scrub-wearing, elf hair-having, maniacally grinning warlock. If he weren’t so nice I would hate him.
The sinister doctor who isn't even a doctor insisted on humming to himself while the torture ensued and then the scrub-disguised warlock created a percussion section by drumming out the beat on his mint green legs. It was a 2-man circus band around me. I wasn’t sure if that is supposed to distract me from my pain as much as it just irritated me. I did get a good look at the fiendish doctor’s shoes, which looked fairly expensive. I tried to spit on them but my aim was off.
I did sneak out without paying my co-pay so the joke is on them! (Enter evil laugh here). Actually joke is on me because I still feel like I got run over by a city bus and it's been 3 days since the D and D torture. Oh well.
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