Would you still be my friend if I had a British accent?

Like if I started having one right now? I'm thinking of moving to London. I've been applying to jobs. I have no idea where the cool places are to live there, by any means. I know I'd end up in some English ghetto where I know they are speaking English but are they really? Why can't I understand a word they are saying?? And then they have that whole different measuring system. That's kind of a big thing for a graphic designer. I use inches they use, what, centimeters? I do an 8x10 page it comes out the size of a post-it and I get fired.

But I bet I'd get that accent by the time I came home. And then everyone would hate me like they hated Madonna for having one. So I'm just going start using one now. Then everyone will be used to it and carry on about their day, right as rain, forgetting that I lived most my life in Phoenix, AZ.

I’m going to need a European makeover too. I've been told I look American but I don't act like one. I don’t even know what exactly that means. Maybe it’s because I don't wear a lot of black. My friend Anna from Switzerland (that's her whole name, Anna from Switzerland) used to only wear black. (After sharing a dorm room with me she went home wearing a sparkly pink shirt and pants with rainbows on the pockets.)

I don't think I could only wear black. I mean, yes, it is slimming, but I've already been accused of anorexia. Instead of black could I wear leopard print? Would I totally stand out wearing leopard print from head to toe? Is leopard print too American?

Damn—or rather—bloody hell, I got some research to do! I can't waste any more work time on this sodding blog and do something constructive like researching European fashion trends.

Tally ho and a piddly poo. (Is that English? I mean I know it’s English but is it England