May 2009 / current mood: laughing out loud
I think I have some sort of GPS device located inside of me that draws the ex-boyfriends out of the woodwork and gives them some sort of signal that I’m back in town and want to bump into them in a big public awkward way. Especially with the “what was I thinking” ex-boys. No really, what was I thinking? It’s like my brain was shut off for a really long time or something and I just plain had bad boy judgment. They smoke, dress weird and cheat. They are too old and too young. They say all the wrong things and aren’t cool to my friends.
I dragged a couple of my friends out to see a local band play that I love and it was totally like an episode of The Hills as they stood there awkwardly in their heels and Scottsdale girl outfits texting on their Blackberry’s while all the random people of Tempe danced around them. So I’m standing there enjoying the scenery when I turn around and run smack into the ex-boyfriend that hates me. The too-old one. After an extremely uncomfortable mumbling of words and a side hug he runs off all flustered and I turn back to my friend’s grimaces and inevitable “you dated that guy?” questions. Yeah…
Then I start getting calls from a pseudo-ex. We only dated for a couple of weeks when he called me up on the phone to break up with me which is how I found out we were that serious to warrant a break-up. Bastard. This was followed by a string of booty calls that I did not initiate and it was just bad. So he starts calling me and saying how sorry he is and how much he has changed and how he “didn’t realize what he had till it was gone”. Yeah, he seriously said that. He said he missed talking to me and just hanging out with me so I hesitantly agree to hang out with him again. But then that very same night he totally tries to booty call me! And every night since he booty texts me, actually. I’ve told him to “suck it” but he will not let up. I asked if his other booty calls dried up or something. He said there was just something about me–yeah, I actually used to show up for his booty calls. This tap is all used up, he’ll need to go find that somewhere else.
I think I have some sort of GPS device located inside of me that draws the ex-boyfriends out of the woodwork and gives them some sort of signal that I’m back in town and want to bump into them in a big public awkward way. Especially with the “what was I thinking” ex-boys. No really, what was I thinking? It’s like my brain was shut off for a really long time or something and I just plain had bad boy judgment. They smoke, dress weird and cheat. They are too old and too young. They say all the wrong things and aren’t cool to my friends.
I dragged a couple of my friends out to see a local band play that I love and it was totally like an episode of The Hills as they stood there awkwardly in their heels and Scottsdale girl outfits texting on their Blackberry’s while all the random people of Tempe danced around them. So I’m standing there enjoying the scenery when I turn around and run smack into the ex-boyfriend that hates me. The too-old one. After an extremely uncomfortable mumbling of words and a side hug he runs off all flustered and I turn back to my friend’s grimaces and inevitable “you dated that guy?” questions. Yeah…
Then I start getting calls from a pseudo-ex. We only dated for a couple of weeks when he called me up on the phone to break up with me which is how I found out we were that serious to warrant a break-up. Bastard. This was followed by a string of booty calls that I did not initiate and it was just bad. So he starts calling me and saying how sorry he is and how much he has changed and how he “didn’t realize what he had till it was gone”. Yeah, he seriously said that. He said he missed talking to me and just hanging out with me so I hesitantly agree to hang out with him again. But then that very same night he totally tries to booty call me! And every night since he booty texts me, actually. I’ve told him to “suck it” but he will not let up. I asked if his other booty calls dried up or something. He said there was just something about me–yeah, I actually used to show up for his booty calls. This tap is all used up, he’ll need to go find that somewhere else.
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